No Really, It's Up To You

The two girls of our family have developed a reputation among friends of being decision-averse. Don’t worry if you're mentally nodding - we’re not offended.  You’d think that with strong and capable parents, experience living far from home to build independence, a solid education and quite good friends, we would have had ample opportunity to habitually form and express confident (or at least competent) personal preferences.  Psychologically, this has come to be known as making a decision, but despite how supportive and able our parents might be, we don’t really do that.  Not normally, anyway.

We’re two apples from the same tree, but at times I’m amazed at how contrary our natures are, how opposite we’ve become.  I'd compare my sister to a Granny Smith – strong flavor, good for all sorts of things (you can dry them; they’re perfect for pie; I’ve even seen industrial art pieces made with Granny’s), plus they hold up well over time.  This is my big sister – strong and comfortable in herself, super-wicked-enviously fabulous at almost everything, plus she’s gorgeous (which I believe I’ve mentioned before, but really, these things can’t be overstated).  She’s going to age well. 

I’m a Macintosh - a little tart, good to snack on when you need a pick-me-up, and gets nasty bruises immediately upon leaving the tree.  I think these are also the most-dropped apple.  I have an awkward sense of humor and am maybe a little cynical, always available to offer little quips and poised to get the ice cream to soothe your woes, and I am not going to age well.  It’s already happening – I really do bruise easily, plus my neck-skin is starting to loosen like a turkey-gobbler.

Anyhow, we’ve determined so far that she and I are apples, and that we’re different.  Great.  But the point of this whole blurb is that no matter how different we are, over time we’ve somehow both grown deficient in one thing: making decisions.  In my first draft of this post, I went on a little rabbit-trail on how we are indeed capable of asserting ourselves in the face of life’s big choices, but that seemed so … assertive.  So I backspaced it all out. 

Where should we go to dinner?  Umm…I don’t know.
What do you want for your birthday?   You know, I really don’t need anything… 
Should we take a walk, or just sit here for twenty minutes talking about whether we should take a walk?  Well, I don’t really care - what would you like to do? (classic turn-the-tables move)

These snip-its have been practically sucked out of our normal conversation, which is where the maddening indecision seems to grow exponentially, as we avoid choice by verbally throwing it back and forth like a football covered in vomit that neither of us want to touch.

All said though, we can make decisions.  Usually I get the ball rolling, only because as I’ve aged, I’ve also developed a habit of losing my temper, so I just shout out foods or movie titles:  Sushi!! Transformers!!  Rice crispy treats!!  How to Train Your Dragon!!  Then, we disagree once or twice, and eventually, by process of elimination, a decision is made.  Typically, we go eat sushi and then she chooses a far more thought-provoking film.  Whatever.  

So if you struggle with selection, don’t give up.  Just figure out the big things and let the little ones filter themselves out.  Nature has a way of deciding for you anyway, like drops of rain carving through granite.  But really, do what you want - I'm no expert.


  1. I have photo evidence of this indecision, M. C keeps sending me pics of you staring at menus. They look like the same pic, because you're wearing the SAME THING, and making the SAME FACE, but C assured me that they're actually from different restaurants in different states.

  2. I forgot about that, Amy! It's pretty revealing, on more than one level, huh?

  3. Who's choice was "The Road"? I can't remember, but that one shouldn't ever be allowed to pick the movie again. Maybe that fixed our problem. The one who picked that horrifying film gets to pick food venues from now on and the other gets to pick movies. Thoughts?
    Also, what you neglected to say about our indecisiveness is we are genuinely more concerned about what the other one would like, therefore causing us to defer the decision. This plan usually works and gives a positive spin to our little issue, but given the like nature of our approaches, fails miserably in each others company.

  4. Oh Renee, that's true. Our intentions might be good, but I think that C may still kill me in my sleep for so much deference. There should be an app for people like us....oh wait, that's a magic 8 ball.

  5. I've gone for just being brutally and randomly assertive -- "WERE GOING TO THE MOVIES. GET YOUR PURSE." But this seems to blow up in my face more often than not. Where's "dear Abby" when we need her?

  6. C, here's something assertive: Dear Abby's going to blow up in your face when she realizes that you think she's dead.

  7. Don't forget urban spoon. Shake that phone, sister.

  8. M, at least you aren't a crabapple. :) I always enjoy a fresh Macintosh!


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