Flash Cards Would Have Helped

Here's some northern vocabulary for you to touch up on before you plan your next visit.  Along with a map, some freeze dried game meat and an emergency blanket, C and I are thinking of including this sheet in a little "welcome to the woods" travel kit.  What do you think?

Feller Buncher: No, this doesn’t pile your favorite bachelors into a nice heap.  It is that oil-burning piece of heavy machinery you might remember from Fern Gulley (I believe it breathed fire, had rather sinister eyes, and was called Hexxus), and is currently used to harvest trees in the logging industry.

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A gift idea for that little forester in the family. 

Coppah Wiyah: This is used by electricians and north country dentists.  As in, you wrap that coppah wiyah ‘round your tooth and ‘round a big rock, then drop that rock off a second story window.  Bangah!  

Sled: Let that image of a flexible flyer slide right off the edge of the perfect snow hill of your memory.  For me, the term now conjures up the smell of a two-stroke engine, giant helmets and a duct-taped seat.  I’d like to go back to my childhood, please. 

Flatlander: In a nutshell, this applies to you, me, and everyone except the speaker, even if they’re secretly not from around heya' themselves.  Also, this is generally used as a derogatory term, but I'm starting to embrace it.  There may or may not be Flatlander bike jerseys in the works. 

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Beaverish: I assume this was originally used by a couple of old trappers to describe a water body frequented by beavers, but C and I use this term to refer to any shifty-looking liquid.  I think that an Arnold Palmer on ice looks mighty beaverish, but that’s just me.  C seems to like the beverage just fine.  

(By the way, how wonderfully cute is Arnold Palmer??)

Downrivah:  If you aren't headed to Canada, you're going this way.

When you come up for a visit, it will help if you study these terms before you leave home.  Also, practice employing them in daily conversation.  

For example: I've had enough of the beaverish coffee up heya' - it's rotted my teeth so bad that I'm running out of coppah wiyah.

Or: I'm going to need to take the sled out to have a look at that broken down feller buncher on the trail.  

Or, C's favorite: M, there's a sled for sale downrivah, and it's just your size...

Practice makes perfect, so get cracking.  There's plenty more where this came from.


**UPDATE**

C just informed me that proper coppah wiyah use is as following:

1. Climb tree.
2. Tie coppah wiyah to tooth.
3. Tie coppah wiyah to tree.
4. Jump.

Also, this is apparently called "jumping a tooth".  I can't imagine why.