I've been thinking lately about the world.
Really, the whole world. Seriously.
Do you know that earth's population has (or will imminently) hit the 7 billion mark? Can you even imagine it? Seven billion people sharing this one spinning ball.
I also recently saw on some checkout magazine headline that the Duggar family is expecting their 20th child (don't worry, I checked their website - it's true). In a matter of months, as long as Jim Bob and Michelle tend opposing goals, the family could start playing a weekly Saturday afternoon regulation-sized soccer match. Or they could run a 3 team round-robin volleyball tournament with Mom as head referee and Dad calling the net, plus they'd have a couple of pint-sized players on the bench. In this case, distributing the under-12 crowd amongst the other kids would be crucial, since no one wants to be the only team player that can see above the base of the net. Underhand serves for all!
Now before you arm yourselves with pitchforks and fiery blog comments about me bad-mouthing the Duggars, hear me out. Both of the above statements are what we as humans call fact, and are also known in some circles as "truth" or "reality" (the sports-related points are a stretch only because it's tough to call it "dribbling" when an infant is crawling around a soccer field on all fours). We all have opinions on the overpopulation issue, and so far I've only hit the bullet points, but maybe even that doesn't set well with you. I can understand your frustration - perhaps you're from a large family, or you don't believe in birth control or dangit, you just like the Duggars - and this upsets you. So to make you feel better about your plan to draw and quarter me, here are a few of my own thoughts with which to feed that fire you're building around my feet.
And why am I tied to this pole?
I'm 28, in the prime of my baby-booming years, but somehow I can't make up my mind on the "kid" thing. I'm lucky to have a husband who is sweet and patient and hilarious, and seems able to handle a wife who can't find a maternal bone in her body [or that second pair of glasses I lost somewhere in the five moves since getting them]. I have an increasing number of friends with little cherubs at home, others with cheerio-wielding monsters, and still other friends that are either single or are couples who live alone with an actual animal in the house. It seems like that last category, the one that C and I belong to, is fading away within my circle, and soon I fear we'll be the only pair left, spending our Sunday afternoons watching football, featuring an overweight black cat sprawled across our laps with her face in the nachos. Add to all of this the fact that our human population that is growing like a water balloon under pressure and you start to feel my frustration. So, what's a girl to think?
Some of you have kids. Some of you can't have kids. Some of you want more kids. Some of you might not want the kids you already have. If you are a mom or dad that has pint-sized bodies flailing about your house at the moment, I have to tell you that at times, I'm a little envious of you. On the other hand, if you want kids and aren't able to conceive or carry them safely, my heart breaks for you. I've often wished to myself that you and I could somehow switch wombs in the universe. If you are still desperately waiting for that guy or girl to come along with which to build a family, I wish you all the best in your journey (but please take advantage of having the bathroom all to yourself, and practice putting the toilet seat down at 3am so that you won't one day have that inevitable "he left the seat up and I fell in" experience, courtesy of Mr. Right). And for those of you, like myself, who can't seem to figure out where the good Lord hid your mom genes (c'mon, get the pun... get it), lift your chin off the floor and enjoy where you are, right at this moment. Because for as many of us as there are, there are Duggars. But there better not be too many Duggars, or I'm afraid that we're going to have a water balloon situation on our hands.
I'd like to know what you think about all of this. Today's post isn't as cohesive as I'd like it to be, or as fact-filled or compelling, but try and understand. If you could dip your toe into my mind, you'd find yourself getting pulled under by a current of half-construed thoughts like these - thoughts that were also run through a blender. It's not pretty, but the fact that stuff like this keeps me up at night is totally real.
So what do you think? Are we too many, or are there never too many? Should we even bother thinking about it? Comments, please...
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