What a clever guy.
----------
Today’s post is a bit of a deviation from our normal conversation on village life.
We’ll catch up with that later.
----------
Do you know what one of my favorite things about being human is?
Really, shout out a guess.
Really, shout out a guess.
Well…?
We’re waterproof.
Yeah, waterproof. In italics. In a small, shrill voice. Like it’s the best secret ever told.
It’s incredible, really, if you think about it. This morning I was washing my face, and something about that act made me extremely grateful for my water-resistance (Because yes, you’re right, my previous statement is not totally accurate. It just sounded better. So sue me.). The reason I can wallow undeterred in the bathtub like a sedated elephant is because of the wonder of my skin.
The three little piggies of the skin world are dermis, epidermis, and subcutaneous fat (the ugly but necessary youngest sibling). The middle piggy, epidermis, produces sebum, an oil that acts as a barrier to the murky water in my bathtub. Now, you might be freaking out right now, because if you’re like me, the last time you submerged your hippo in the tub for 3 hours, you emerged, well, a little like your great-aunt Clara. “Ruffles have rrrrridges!” – and now, so do you. Yes, your skin does absorb some water from the tub, but only as much as it can. Because the network of your skin is already composed of lots of water molecules, it can only take as much as it can hold, like when you try and stir that fourth Swiss Miss packet into your mug. Heartbreaking for your steamy drink, but fabulous for your body. We all bloat enough anyway, right? No one wants to be a human version of the sea cucumber. Have you ever seen one of those?!
Yeah, waterproof. In italics. In a small, shrill voice. Like it’s the best secret ever told.
It’s incredible, really, if you think about it. This morning I was washing my face, and something about that act made me extremely grateful for my water-resistance (Because yes, you’re right, my previous statement is not totally accurate. It just sounded better. So sue me.). The reason I can wallow undeterred in the bathtub like a sedated elephant is because of the wonder of my skin.
The three little piggies of the skin world are dermis, epidermis, and subcutaneous fat (the ugly but necessary youngest sibling). The middle piggy, epidermis, produces sebum, an oil that acts as a barrier to the murky water in my bathtub. Now, you might be freaking out right now, because if you’re like me, the last time you submerged your hippo in the tub for 3 hours, you emerged, well, a little like your great-aunt Clara. “Ruffles have rrrrridges!” – and now, so do you. Yes, your skin does absorb some water from the tub, but only as much as it can. Because the network of your skin is already composed of lots of water molecules, it can only take as much as it can hold, like when you try and stir that fourth Swiss Miss packet into your mug. Heartbreaking for your steamy drink, but fabulous for your body. We all bloat enough anyway, right? No one wants to be a human version of the sea cucumber. Have you ever seen one of those?!
Abyssal Sea Cucumber - photo courtesy www.fromdusktilldawn.wordpress.com
Now you have. And next time you fall asleep, you'll see it again.
I bet they move in herds.
So put down that loofah and bathe boldly, friends. Simmer in your jacuzzi tub. Flounder at the lake. Catch diseases at the pool. Because your piggies will protect you.
From the water, that is.
From the water, that is.
You could have picked a better sea cucumber.
ReplyDeleteI feel smarter for having read this. And dumber too.
ReplyDeleteThe sea cucumber looks like a naked mole rat after a nuclear disaster.
ReplyDelete